Hey Friends! There is something I am dying to share with you. If you don't mind reading this note, please do! I promise I will try to not write as much, but I can't guarantee anything.These past years I have learned so much, and God has been doing so many amazing things in my life. I am so glad that He has placed very special people and experiences in my life. I would like to say that now I am out of high school that I have completely learned how to be a mature, independent adult, but if I did I would be lying. I am still dependent on my parents for a lot of things, and I jump on the trampoline every single day as if I was a 10 year old again. Yet, each and everyday I am getting used to the idea of doing my own laundry, paying my own bills, and even working for the things I need versus only the things I want( such as my college education versus my Grande Mocha Coconut Frappuccino Light Double Blended at Starbucks). Let's just say it is and has been a big learning experience for Lauren. On a funny note I have learned that I have a slight addiction to Facebook and Starbucks, and I have this fascination for different languages and for traveling the world (if you are reading this, you probably knew the first two if not all). But above everything else and on a more serious note, I have learned that I can have patience, and I have a heart that yearns for the lives of others. I am ready to just go and share the news of my wonderful Lord, Jesus Christ around the globe, but at this point in my life I need to slow down and get the kinks out first. I need to achieve my college degree(s) and be financially stable before I can go travel because as a 18 year old I have no money to do so on my own. My parents are starting to push me out of the nest, and I need to learn how to fly on my own. I am so glad that I have been able to see this because it is one more step that I can take to be that mature, independent adult. It is so cool to see God work in my life and the lives of others both here in the States and internationally. It only took what seemed like a thousand of years to figure it out, but sure enough I figured it out or at least started to. I am still not quite sure what it is that I will be doing for the rest of my life, but with God all things are possible, right? I know that God has been testing me, and showing me that I am not as ready and "adult" as I should be to just go. Patience has been one of my hardest weakness' that I have not mastered or even tried to look at. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not even close to being perfect with it, but it is becoming more evident as a problem I need to fix in my life. One way I have learned by being patient is by realising I cannot have everything I want and waiting is good for me. If I don't get what I want, then it must be about myself and not be according to God's will. It is so hard to grasp this concept and is a constant battle, but victory has knocked at my door a few times this year and opened my eyes to see something truly amazing, God and everything about Him. I love the fact that I have been a Christian for years, but as I am getting older I want to make sure that it is known that I am a devoted Christian, and I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ! I am a pretty busy girl, and I always tend to get anxious about the next thing on my schedule which therefore presents a possibility for impatience. I always worry about the bigger flower, and I forget to stop and smell the ones in front of me. If I totally lost you with my multitude of metaphors, let's just say I am always waiting for the next thing, and I am never fully focused on what I should focus on. I have always wanted to travel internationally. I don't know when this love for other countries started, but ever since I was a little girl it was my dream. In the third grade, I wrote a paper on how I wanted to be a nurse missionary traveling the world and spreading Christ's love. As I got older, I thought there was no way on earth that I could do that or that I would be given the chance to travel. My freshman and sophomore year, I was even asked to study abroad two summers in a row in Spain before I was officially allowed to with my Spanish program at school. One year half of the trip was already paid for because a student couldn't go and the trip was nonrefundable. My parents said no. They said I was too young, and it was too expensive. I was so upset, and I started losing hope for traveling completely. Earlier this year, I got asked again, but this time the parents were actually thinking about it. This time collectively as a family, we decided it wouldn't be the best choice due to our family expenses and going to college this year. So half heartedly, I accepted the decision although the tab for the summer program remained open on my computer for weeks. They said I would always have the time and money to go later. Now I am so glad that I didn't go on that trip and waited for the next chance because I would've missed so many more meaningful experiences that took place earlier this year and that are taking place now. A few days after I finally closed the tab on my computer, my family and I went to a benefit concert for friends of ours and their mission trip to Guatemala. I felt God pulling at my heart during the concert, and a few days later I just had to send a Facebook message to my friend and ask how I could get involved. After this amazing project that friends at school helped me put on for the girls in an orphanage there in Guatemala, I fell in love. All of the sudden, my friend asked me if I wanted to go with her that spring. I was ecstatic, but there was a part of me that said oh, well this is not going to work just like the others didn't. But it was God's plan, and I am so glad He showed me that I just need to have faith, pray, and just be patient and wait. I am so thankful I waited for God's timing and God's calling on my first big trip like this. The day I knew I was going, I couldn't sit still. Once again, my impatience was getting the best of me again. I was so excited that it was pretty much all I talked about up until a few weeks after the trip. Throughout the whole time, God used little things such as school and my brother to test my patience and faith in Him. When the time came to go to the airport, I happily woke up at 3:30am, which for a high school senior never happens. I had the most wonderful opportunity of a lifetime. I spent 5 days in an orphanage in the out skirts of Guatemala City, Guatemala. What I saw, what I experienced, it is almost indescribable. Those children and their situations are incredible in both a sad and happy way. One boy ( I am going to refrain from using his name due to safety) had burns all over his body. He was three,maybe not even that old! You could tell that these were not just your casual burns from hot water or the sun. These were permanent, deep burns. One day he kicked his shoes off at dinner, and I was going to help put his shoes back on. He cried because he was in pain and it wasn't because I was putting the shoes on the wrong way. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I had never seen anything as horrific. I listened to some vague stories about the kids' situations (legally we are not allowed to know any of the details), and I just didn't want to listen to it anymore. I didn't even hear the worst parts about them. The day we arrived, they just received a new child at the orphanage. He was only two days old. It makes me just want to scream and break down sobbing just thinking about it. He didn't even get the chance to be loved by a parent. Although these situations are so sad to see and hear about, I learned so much from this experience, and I am pretty sure that they helped me more than I helped them. It almost sounds selfish, but to be honest I did learn so much during this experience. I cannot even begin to tell you how different it is there. First of all, they speak Spanish. With an exception of a few of the workers, my team, and the other volunteers, all the other workers and all of the kids spoke mostly 90% Spanish. I was eating it up! Thanks to some great Spanish teachers and my dedication in learning the language, I was not as lost as I thought I was going to be. Despite the differences such as throwing away toilet paper instead of flushing and walking up a mountain of steps a hundred times a day, those kids were just like the kids here. They laughed, cried, and acted crazy. Before going down there, I thought they were going to be bitter and remorseful for being in an orphanage and their situation, but once again I was wrong. These are probably the happiest and most inspirational kids that I will ever meet in my whole entire night. To me what seemed like they had an unfortunate life and so little things, was more than enough for them. They were thankful for what they did have. They were provided for and cared for at the orphanage. I remember the Sunday morning when we went to church. The kids were singing at the top of their lungs during praise and worship time. There was one song where it said "preciosos hijos de Dios", which in English means precious children of God. It was at that moment where I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. A little girl turned around at me and looked at me the whole duration of that song and the next. Even to this day I can distinctively see her face and her big brown glassy eyes just wondering why I looked so hopeless and why I was crying during such a wonderful song. It will be something I will never forget. I know that those children may not remember my face or the Spanish name "Lorena" they gave me, but I know for a fact what they gave to me, will never be forgotten. They reminded me of God's great love and even if I have nothing compared to the world's standards, I still have Christ's love and that is all I need… So as I wait to see what God has in store for me next and before I jump to smell the next big flowers in my life, I am going to start with smelling the flowers that are right in front of me and enjoy them every bit I can: MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
