Nothing is impossible for God, He holds my world in His Hands
Like many college students, I have adjusted to a specific schedule. The schedule goes like this. I go to class, eat, study, work, finish my clinical hours at the hospital, and hope that each day I find enough time to sleep (maybe on average 5 hours each night). Some might ask me why do I put myself through that much trouble when I could easily take the “easy way out”. However, others say that this is the best time of your life or that it isn’t that bad in school. I, myself, disagree. I choose answer D. none of the above statements. College is one big test, a test that has an expected passing rate from society, from friends, from family. A test to see if you can successfully balance your strenuous academic schedule, manage a part-time job, exercise weekly, eat healthy, and somehow manage to find time to maintain social relationships with friends and family. It is impossible… there is not one perfect way to do everything, and trust me if there was I would already be doing it. I keep asking myself why, what is the purpose. Isn’t there some easier way? As I sit at my desk with piles of nursing books, I notice one thing. A picture. This picture is of a little boy. In fact, that little boy is my brother. The picture is taking BC: Before cancer. The little things, such as the picture, bring back some memories that I never wish to relive and some that I wish I could hold on to longer. It was the spring of my first grade year when my brother got diagnosed with cancer, and I was probably too young to understand what was going on, but nonetheless I was terrified. He had 6 or so grueling months in and out of the hospital. My parents took turns being home with me, and often times I would get sent to one babysitter to the next. However, all I wanted to do was be with my baby brother. He was and still is my best friend in the world. We are the best of friends and the worst enemies. But to think he could have died, I would be lost. I wouldn’t have known what to do. However, I do not want to dwell on the what-ifs of life, rather the what-now. The reason why I chose the nursing profession was due to the fact my younger brother had been diagnosed with AML Leukemia. I had watched the nurses take care of my brother each and everyday. They never let him give up, and they always gave my family and me hope for his recovery. Although I did not fully understand the medical issues that were taking place with my brother, I knew that he was sick, and I was very scared that I was going to lose him. The nurses were so helpful during this time, and they encouraged my brother to be the strong, brave survivor that he is today. I made up my mind that is who I wanted to be, and ever since that day, I have done everything possible to achieve it. As school has started, I realized it hasn’t been and/or will be as easy or fun as I expected it to be. One thing is forced after another, one giant whirlpool of excessive information. At one point in the beginning, all I wanted to do was curl up in ball and cry for hours. I felt like I was failing the test. I lost the balance. No social life, too much social life, too much work, not enough work, you get the picture. But someone wise came behind me and said that everything is going to be fine, and I just have to focus on what is my purpose. A little boy, a family, a friend…Hope for the future. I can do it. Philippians 4:13. Not through or for me. Not through or for others. BUT Through God and For God. How awesome is that? He is my strength, and I thank Him everyday for blessing me for this opportunity to take this “test” and to have something so trivial like a picture to remind me the purpose behind my aspirations.
