Friends and Family,
As I sit in my dorm room this morning, I am overwhelmed by the blessings God has given me in my life. I do not have the appropriate words to explain how thankful and how overwhelmed by God’s everlasting faithfulness to me, even when I have the most ridiculous attitudes or do the dumbest things. Over the past year, I have had my ups and downs, always asking God why me and why not now. My selfish desires kept haunting me, and I seemed to be addicted to not only my plan for the future, but my timing. Everything had to be about me and about the now. Yet, I didn’t put into account God’s plan and God’s timing that logically, since the time I was a child, knew is the most important aspect in our lives. These desires that I had, for the grades, for the friends (and significant other), for the job, and for the international travel seemed to be haunting me every single day. Although the dreams and plans I have are beautiful and appropriate, my intentions were completely flawed. What I wanted didn’t seem to be happening so I became bitter and apathetic, essentially giving up and not believing. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I realized to let go and let God. He has been faithful to me before so I asked myself why don’t I know He is going to be faithful again. It may not go exactly as the way I planned, but in the end, it is not for my glory, it is all for His. After going over the book of Joshua in church and having a ladies prayer meeting with wonderful Christian examples, I finally let go of everything and gave it all to God, trusting Him like I always have. When odds seem to be against Joshua, he didn’t give up, always knowing in the back of his mind that God is in control. How cool is that? Shortly after, God started answering my prayers in His way and His timing. Now, I feel stupid for the way I have been acting. He has answered many of my prayers in ways I never could have expected.
1. The grades
· I am doing well in nursing school, and I am so thankful for the instructors at Indiana Wesleyan University. They are professional and personal at the same time, always striving to encourage students as they learn in their academic field and also as they grow in their walk with the Lord. I have truly mastered learning; it isn’t for the A like I have always strived for, but it is for the material that you are learning: the steps to critical thinking, prioritizing, making mistakes and changing the way you do things in the future. I am so excited to finish my two years here and continue my education of becoming a nurse.
2. The friends
· I have always been blessed with friends, but after some disappointment, the friends around discouraged me and tore me down both spiritually and emotionally. I couldn't handle it. I felt alienated, alone, and unwanted. This period of time made me focus on my true Christian friends, and how I can be a positive influence on them and on those who are persecuting me. God has recently blessed me with new Christian influences and old friends that are always faithful, I am so thankful for every single one of them!
3. The Job
· Yesterday, I was offered an interview for an internship that I thought I was never capable of getting. Although I haven’t received the position yet or know if I will, I am honored at the thought of working my first nursing job in a hospital along with the possibility of keeping both of my other jobs of being a babysitter and a lifeguard. Either way, I am thanking God for his continuous blessings in my reality. I continue to pray that God will grant me the understanding and the appreciation for the fact I have awesome opportunities to love on others no matter where I work!
4. The International Travel
· After my big summer of international traveling last year, I knew for a fact that I wanted to go somewhere this year: mission work, study abroad, vacation. I just wanted to hop on a plane and go somewhere with my passport in hand. That didn't happen. But instead of being discouraged, I have hope. My timing may not be the right timing, but if it is part of God’s plan, then it will happen. Possibilities are on the horizon, and I pray that God will give me patience for His plan and timing and direction where He wants me to be. South Africa? Zambia? Guatemala? All possibilities, Stay Tune for what God has in store for me!
All in all, I guess what I am trying to say to you today is, Have Patience, Let Go, and Let God. I finally did, and look where it got me! To God Be All the Glory, Honor, and Praise. Whatever you have going on in your life in this current time, please know that God is in control. His blessings are overwhelming! Love to all,
Lauren
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