To the me in the photos....

I look at the photos filling up the walls of your room. The photos of you and your adventures, of your closest friends and family, of the memories that you hold close to you. You know the photos that are your favorite and you can’t get rid of no matter how old they are. Each photo is taken in a completely different environment yet something remains the same. Your smile is the same. Years could go by but you continue to have that same look on your face. Despite how cheesy your smile looks, you are truly happy. You are happy to be in the picture with that specific person, doing that particular thing, at that exact moment in time. Whether it is petting that beautiful white tiger in Africa or standing next to one of your best friends at a concert, your smile radiates. You don’t know what is about to happen or where you are going next, but you are happy. Oh, how I wish you could see the road ahead- the hard times, the good times, the people that are going to show up in your life at an unexpected moment, the lessons you are going to learn. I wish I could tell you how it’s okay to slow down and smell the flowers or to relax every once in a while. Growing up is different and it’s going to take an incredible amount of strength. You aren’t always going to get what you want or you might but it might not be on your timeline or how you wanted it to go. Shocker! The cute guy isn’t always going to notice you or you may not always afford the fancy dress you so want to buy in the window of the shopping mall. You job will tear you apart. There will be days when you want to throw it all away and quit, but don’t. Your roommate is going to get annoyed with you and your family will call you hundreds of times to check up on you. No matter how much you are burnt out, keep going. You are going to say you can’t or won’t one million times, but you are going to do it.  Do it anyways because your family loves you, your friends want the best for you, and your patients’ lives literally depend on you.  As I am writing to you, I am tired. You know the kind of tired where you don’t want to do anything except cuddle in a mound of blankets and not get up for hours. I am not tired physically, which is what most people would contribute to a night-shifters comment on exhaustion. For a change, my body is rejuvenated and no longer aching/longing for sleep during the night hours. However, I am the kind of tired where you have been working to obtain something that is unobtainable. You have given your whole energy and heart to something, which may not even happen.  You know that you a very motivated and high achieving individual that for years has set somewhat ambitious goals. The Lord has blessed you and each year you have been able to achieve your ambitious goal.  Yet you continue to impatiently want more. Why?  Stop alluding to the fact you haven’t checked all the boxes in your 5-10 year goal plan yet. That is just so stupid. You are a beautiful, cherished daughter of the King. He is able to do far more than you can imagine in your life. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t achieved that dream of being a wife/mom with the white-picket fence, or the trauma flight nurse flying over the scene of a multi-car pile up, or the Peace Corp volunteer feeding orphan children in Central America. God has given you a desire to love people. So continue loving the people in your life. Work better to mend broken relationships and look for ways to create new ones. Don’t let your insecurities and impatience get in the way of God working in/ through you. The Lord has great plans for you Lauren. Relax and continue to smile despite how cheesy it may be.

You are Loved,
L